As my 3 year old daughter Valentina naps next to me on our couch, I realize that I should be completing some of my dissertation data analysis rather than writing this blog post. But honestly, my desire to write this first post in this new blog at this particular moment is driven by something beyond myself; the number of parents who are also students (and are likely working full-time as well) is larger than most probably realize. And the struggle to balance everything in an appropriate, respectable manner (i.e., where none of your commitments suffer from your attention to another) is constant, throbbing, and insatiable.
According to a 2014 report by the Institute for Women's Policy Research, about 1/4 of all undergraduate students in the U.S. (at both 2- and 4-year institutions), are raising dependent children.(1) The majority of these student parents are women (re: 71% of all student parents), and the most likely group to be attending postsecondary education while raising children are women of color.(1)
While these statistics are indeed interesting, the reality of the challenges facing student parents in the US are incredibly unfortunate. Student parents are less likely than their childless counterparts to complete their certificate or degree within six years of enrollment, and also more likely than their childless counterparts to have low incomes and subsequently, much higher levels of debt after graduation.(1)
Reports are just numbers, right? Well, I can personally attest to the difficulty of being a student parent, in needing to provide for your child, but experiencing great difficulty in being a good mother, putting food on the table and paying rent, and working as much as you can to support your family. In order to not need full-time childcare for my daughter when she was a newborn and then infant, I did any consulting job that came my way, and taught at 3 different colleges as an adjunct for numerous semesters. I picked up part-time research gigs even if they required me to commute over an hour into New York City one way. It wasn't until I was completely done with my coursework for both my epidemiology doctorate degree and my maternal/child/sexual/reproductive health certificate that I could take on a full-time job, and the only job that I could get that fit my skills and offered a flexible schedule is nearly a 2 hour (one-way) commute.
Of course, this takes a toll on my dissertation completion. I laugh sometimes thinking about the days before Valentina when I thought that I would have completed my degree by late 2013 (ha!) Having my daughter was the absolute, most amazing event of my life, and I wouldn't change it for the world. But the constant struggle to be the best professor (in order to keep my job); the best scholar in my field (in order to excel academically); and, the best wife I can be (in order to make sure my husband realizes how much I love and appreciate him), is often in conflict with my primal need to be the best absolute mother that I can for my daughter.
I deleted Facebook back in 2014 because I realized that the time that I was spending on it was taking up the precious free time that I had and needed to be spending with my daughter. I always wanted to fight the perception that working mothers are not involved mothers, almost to my own utter frustration that I can never quite make it over the high bar that I set for myself. But regardless, my struggle is one that I am making progress along - I am making progress on my dissertation every day, and am happy to report that I was awarded a coveted Fahs-Beck Dissertation Grant to cover the majority of the costs of my dissertation research. I have a solid job, a great relationship with my 3 year old daughter (who just woke up, so I'll be wrapping this up shortly...), and am making great progress on the final exam of my academic career.
But I have an incredibly supportive family, who is incredible to our family (more about this in another post); an amazing, hardworking husband; and, a lot of other blessings that many others do not have. I so often feel that I can't stay above water with balancing everything, and seeing these aforementioned statistics, it really gives a harrowing perspective of how difficult it truly is for those with children who are working and trying to better themselves through education. It is a nearly unfathomable struggle that is so much more than the money and time that it takes to actually take the coursework.
Thank you for reading - more to come soon :)
References:
1.) Gault B, Reichlin L, Reynolds E, Froehner M; Institute for Women's Policy Research. 4.8 million college students are raising children. http://www.iwpr.org/publications/pubs/4.8-million-college-students-are-raising-children/at_download/file. IWPR Report #C424. Published November 2014. Accessed June 26, 2016.
